Guess what? We've got Lawrence here to help us out. Hi, Lawrence. Thanks for coming. Hi, Arabella. Thank you for calling me. My pleasure. So Lawrence, I'm going to do an exercise with you. Okay. We're going to do it three times, is that's okay. All right. But don't worry because I'll tell you what we're going to do at each part of the exercise. Okay. Is that okay? Okay, good. Right. Great. So the first part of the exercise, I'm going to ask Lawrence a question, and I'm going to match him. Now remember, with matching, number 1, you give them all of your attention, number 2, you match them physically and vocally. What percentage? That's right, 60 percent. Thirdly, I repeat his words and phrases back to him. So Lawrence, the question that I have for you is, can you tell me something that you're so proud of achieving over the past year? Yes, I can. One of the proudest moments last year was when my paper, or one of my paper, I guess. One of your papers. One of my papers, yes. How many did you write last year? Four. Four? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. So anyway, one of the the papers was nominated to be the best paper in 2018. 2018, the best paper? Yeah. One of the best. Okay, and what for Korea Uni? Yeah. It's for. Or in what division? Yes. It's in advertising research. In advertising research? Yeah, where we. Fantastic. Yeah, where we looked at 189 advertisements. Okay. We tested two theories. Okay. I had to see which theory actually comes up. What were the two theories? Okay. So the existing theories is, you have to measure attitude in multiple ways, and we're arguing that under some circumstances, you only have to measure it one way or one time, instead of multiple times. Yeah. So you can either measure attitudes in multiple ways or one way, is that right? Yeah. So multiple times versus one time. Okay. Multiple times versus one time. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, good. Excellent. Congratulations. Thank you. It's a massive attainment. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Really impressive. Thank you. Okay, great. So that was the first time that we've done the exercise. Now this time, the second time, I'm going to ask Lawrence to tell me something that he would like to achieve over the next 12 months, but this time, I'm going to match him physically and. That's right, no vocals. All right. So Lawrence, the question is what would you like to achieve over the next 12 months? Yes. I'm actually under pressure to complete my book, and so my publisher gives me until June to complete. So yeah. So if I can, and then we have all this Global MBA stuff, all the filming, getting my lines wrong, and all that. So yeah. If I can get that done before my publisher kills me, it'll be wonderful. So that's one of the things I really want to do. I got to get it done. Yes. Got to get it done. Okay, good. Now, the third time that we do this exercise, this time I'm going to mismatch Lawrence. So I'm going to do the opposite to what he's doing, or something that's completely different to what he's doing. This time, I'm going to ask him to tell us about something that you found challenging over the last 12 months. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Can you think of something that you found really challenging? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay, good. So can you tell us about that? Okay. So one of the difficult things I have to do is the development of these two units, and these two units are bit difficult because we're using technologies. We're trying to understand marketing, and how marketing technologies actually work in my profession, and I know very little about marketing technology. So I'm really trying to learn, and I know this is quite challenge for me. Hey, Melinda. Nice lunch. It's quite challenge for me to actually get it done. So yeah. I'm worried. I'm worried whether I can actually do it. So yeah. So. Hello? Yeah. So yeah. I'm quite worried about that. Are you finished? Oh, yeah. I'm finished. Thank you, Lawrence. I'm so sorry. That's okay. Okay. So that was mismatching. Yes. Yes. Now, as you can see, with mismatching, you completely do the opposite to what that person is doing. Now, let's check in with Lawrence and see how he felt with each of the three exercises. So Lawrence, the first time, when I was matching you physically and vocally, and repeating your words and phrases back to you, how did you feel? I feel great. I feel that you were there. You understood what I was saying, and there was this connection going. It's a great connection, isn't it? Yes. It's wonderful when people just feel like they've been understood, don't you think? Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Did the conversation flow easily? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You anticipated what I was about to say, and I slipped into your conversation, so there's this. You didn't slip in. There's this stream and interaction going. Yeah. Great. What about the second time, the second time, when I matched you physically, but no vocals? How did that go? Yeah. That still works, but still, it's not as good as the first one. No. I notice that. Yeah. It's not as good as first one. No. But I could still see that you're there with me. Okay. Yeah. But did you find that the conversation dried up more quickly? Oh, yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah. Did you feel a bit more awkward at the end, though? A little bit more hard work, I guess. Hard work. Little more hard work. Yeah. Because I have to get Arabella to say something back. I know, and I wasn't, was I? Yeah, and then you weren't. No. Yeah. What about the third time, when I mismatched you? Oh, shit. Yeah, terrible. Am I allowed to say that? What about the third time, when I asked. It wasn't good. No. Okay, go. Yeah. Yeah. It's difficult and you weren't there. No. I was trying to get you. Especially when you were talking about something challenging. Exactly, and that's important to me. Very important. Yeah. Yeah, and so you weren't there, so. I wasn't there. No. Yeah. But we were there physically, but. I was there physically. Yeah. But apart from that. Yeah. Yeah, so. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Really, really great. So as you can see, the first time, when I was matching him physically and vocally, he felt listened to and heard. The second time, when I matched him physically, but no vocals, he still had my attention, but the conversation stopped because we weren't able to continue. Thirdly, when I mismatched him, he didn't feel heard at all, and the conversation dried up very quickly. Now, that's what I see in most meetings, is people mismatching each other. It is so easy to build rapport, and all you need to do are those three steps. Give them all of your attention, match them physically and vocally, 60 percent, and repeat their words and phrases back to them, and then you build rapport on an unconscious level. That means that they will then trust you, and everything happens more quickly with trust, doesn't it? Absolutely. Now, you know how to do it. Go out and match people, all people. Practice with the bus driver, the waiter, your mother, and see the results you get. When you start matching people, you start to understand what they're thinking and feeling, which makes persuading them even easier, as you know where they're at every moment. Remember to repeat their words and phrases. You don't need to be an actor to do it. Just aware, authentic, and adaptable.
