Have you ever sent an e-mail when you were angry or frustrated? I'm sure you have because I certainly have. Unfortunately after sending it, I've had to accept the consequences and think about better ways to do so in the future. I'm sure this topic will be very useful for you. Let's get started! As we've discussed, the word assertiveness refers to the ability to be direct, clear, honest, and respectful when we transmit our thoughts and emotions. The purpose is to accurately transmit what we think and feel, but above all, what we wish other people to do. Assertive communication or assertiveness depends, however, on the person receiving the message. We could imagine that we're clear and direct; nevertheless, the other person is the one who finally decides if the message was received in that way. This is why we should make a previous analysis of what we we wish to transmit in the message, as well what kind of situation we are in at this moment. This will help us realize that assertive communication has degrees. The ability to "read" the situation of the person we want to communicate with is very important. There are some people who we can speak to very clearly and directly, saying: "I need you to come to my office to talk about client X". To other people, this direct, clear way of communicating can seem too aggressive, so perhaps, we should ask them to come to our office in the following way: "Hey, when you have a few minutes, please come over to my office, so we can talk about the situation with client X. Thanks!". In both cases, we're being clear and direct, but according to the person and the situation, we are modifying the strength of how we deliver the message. Human communication is broad skill. With this I mean so say that we don't just express our needs and thoughts, but also our feelings by words, body language, through our eyes, our gestures, postures, and movements. Our volume and tone of voice also have a direct impact on how the listener will interpret the message being sent, perhaps feeling offended if we haven't expressed ourselves clearly. Because of this, it's important that, besides the content of the message, we consider the way we send it and what media we use for delivery. Before sending a message, it's important that we take some time to reflect on how we wish to transmit the message. This is called using an interpersonal communication strategy. In our interpersonal communication strategy, we should think about what we want to say, in other words, the description of the message. We should also be in touch with ourselves to know the feeling or emotions that we are experiencing and how much of them we want to communicate. At the same time we should think about what need we want satisfied and what kind of satisfier we want from the other person and also the possible consequences of their conduct and its effect on us and the work team. Previously, we mentioned how assertive communicate falls on a continuum with different degrees. On one extreme we have aggressive communication that can be open or hidden. Openly aggressive communication is when we use a loud voice to express our message, as well as threatening looks, gestures, and movements. These can cause two possible behaviors: aggressive or evasiveness. On the other extreme, there is non-assertiveness, which is the avoidance of an aggressive behavior. Just like animals, human beings have physical or biological reactions of survival. Passive aggressive communication is made up of ridicule, sarcasm, double entendres, etc. The person who we are directing this type of communication to can become confused, because he or she doesn't know exactly what we mean, and her answer can be either aggressive or evasive. Non-assertive communication consists of the inability to be clear and direct at the moment of expressing a message, or doing so without the correct intensity and clarity. The next topic we will study has a technique or tool that will allow us to make assertive messages. This technique is called the DESC Script. I hope you enjoy this and that it is helpful to you. I send you a warm greeting!
