Who said, I don't know what civility or incivility is, but I know it when I see it? It was me, I believe I just said it, actually I adapted this quote from a US Supreme Court Justice, who during an obscenity trail case said, I don't know what obscenity is but I know when I see it. I think the same can be said about civility. After this video, you'll be able to name and describe 3 Maxims of Civility. And distinguish uncivil behavior that crosses over to harassment or illegal behavior. So, one of the definitions I like of civility is, the exchange of seemingly inconsequential words and deeds, that violate conventional norms of the workplace. So basically, civility is that type of behavior that don't really think about it. [INAUDIBLE] was that joke unkind? Don't know, but it tends to cross over. So we'll look at this in a little bit greater detail. It's also the little things, it's the little courtesies, and kindness, or unkindnesses that make up uncivility or civil behavior. There's a great quote I remember my parents telling me when I was a kid. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. And that taught me to toughen up a little, but you know what? When people call people names, or when I got called names, or bullied a little bit, it does make a difference. It does hurt, yeah, you can stuff it down, pretend it doesn't. But I think words do matter. And that's why we pay attention to this when looking at civil and uncivil behavior. It's the little things, the little words. Lot of people think, does this really happen? Let's do a little civility reality check. You'll notice here there's a map of the United States. Reports are 25% of people felt that they'd been bullied at work, 25%. Think about your own organizations, that's one out of four. Another study showed 50% said they were bullied or witnessed bullying at work. So let's take that 50% for a moment. Think about your own organization or your own country. What is 50% of your work population? What is 50% of your population of your country? That's a big number for most people and if it's, does constitute a major problem in organizations. We like to think it doesn't, but I think it happens a lot more. But again, we're told sticks and stones will break your bones, words will never hurt you. So we tend to put it aside. But it is a real issue. Let me look at a continuum here for a moment, one is incivility. When you look at incivility, I think of things such as rudeness, criticism, disregard for people's times, maybe coming to meetings late, maybe it's texting, or being distracted during meetings. These are the types of things that I would say are behaviors that's uncivil. When I think of the next level on this continuum, I think of bullying. This gets a little deeper, this is unwanted, reocurring aggressive behavior aimed at an individual or individuals. It usually involves psychological powers or imbalance between the bullying. You often see these managers bullying their employees. It could be aggressive communication or verbal abuse. You see it with taunting, humiliating, teasing, threatening comments, gossip, humiliation. And many times it ends up in sabotaging work. And creating to the next level, a hostile work environment, or harassment, as we call it in the US. You'll notice on the bullying, the fourth step it'ss right up the line. Most bullies are good at what they do. And they know just where the line is and don't cross it. But when they cross over into harassment or discrimination, it becomes illegal behavior at least in the United States. You would check your own laws for discrimination and harassment, and what they are. But my point on the continuum here, is discrimination and harassment may very well start with incivil behavior, incivil behavior and bullying. From a cultural standpoint, creating a positive culture to protect your work practices, you want to look at having policies and procedures to make sure we address the civility issue early on. If people are being uncivil, make sure we call them on it. Let's stop it before it becomes a big problem, because uncivil behavior could turn into bullying behavior, which might turn to harassment and discrimination. And lots of times it never grows to that level. People are uncivil and it never grows. But at any rate, behavior that's not civil, and bullying, cause us money. And we're going to talk about that more in future lessons here. But, the take away is, let's stop it early in the progress, have a zero tolerance policy for uncivil behavior and bullying behavior, much like many organization do with harassment behavior. Let me leave you with sort of a positive thought here, one is you may have heard of the golden rule. This says, do unto others as you would have done unto you. This is a nice way to look at civility. If I'm always treating as I would want to be treated, I'm going to assumed that it's going to be pretty good treatment, because I'd like to be treated well. Another rule I've heard, platinum rule. So, a little bit different than golden rule. This is do unto others, as they would have done unto themselves. So you really look at the person themselves, and what is it about them? How would they like to be treated? And I will match that treatment. The third one that I like, I've named the employee customer rule, the VIP very important person rule. Is a old adage of customer service training. Many times, when we do customer service training, we tell people to use the customer's name, treat them with kindness, and such, that's very important. We want to treat our customers well. But studies show the best way to get your employees to treat customers well is to treat your employees well. Employees will treat others as they are treated, that's the maxim I want you to think about. Imagine the situation if you will, we often see it with a customer, customer comes in, how can I help you today? Would you like a cup of coffee? Can I get you a drink of water? That's the kind of reaction we often see with superior customer service. Can you imagine being in a workplace, where when I walk in, my boss might say, how are you doing today? Would you like a water? I'm going down to get a coffee, may I get you one? That whole idea of they're being as kind to me as we would our customers. That kind of treatment leads to treating our customers well, which leads to bottom line effect. So I want to leave you with a thought. Think of these two rules as you build your cultures to be positive. And move past the acceptance of the poor behavior, uncivil behavior and bullying. And make sure you have a culture that supports your performance management, and your human resource system in a positive way.
