So we've discussed a few of the attitudinal foundations of mindfulness, but there are a few more that I still think are worth us exploring. The first foundation I want to discuss deals with the striving mind. Have you ever noticed that everything you do is done with a particular purpose? So I mentioned earlier when we were talking about patience, most of us are doers and problem solvers, always on the run to the next thing, trying to be efficient with our time and energy, and determined to reach our next lofty goal. And while this sometimes sets us up to achieve great heights in life, in meditation, this kind of striving can be a real hurdle. When we mistakenly come in with an agenda, and by this, I mean when we decide that meditation is the means to some desired end like relaxation, or a calmer mind, or a better, more compassionate version of ourselves, we can really set ourselves up for frustration. When we focus on product, we're attaching to an outcome, and subsequently creating the conditions for suffering to arise. Think about it this way. Let's say you sit down for a meditation determined to come away feeling calmer, with a less busy mind. And the moment you experience anything other than that, judgments arise and because of your attachment to the desire for the session to result in peace, you begin to experience anxiety, doubt, frustration. It was a setup for suffering. As you begin your practice, it's important to keep in mind that there are no goals here except to be present for, and open to, an unfolding process rather than some end product. Pay attention to the driving desire in you to get somewhere other than where you are right now, and see how it makes you feel. And then explore what it's like to practice with no specific goal and see how that changes things. As best as you can, try and remember that we're just practicing for the sake of the experience. And in doing so, my bet is that you'll soon experience the relief and peace that comes when we give ourselves over to each moment. Practicing non-striving leads us directly to the next attitudinal foundation of mindfulness, which is acceptance. In mindfulness, acceptance means seeing something as it actually is and making space for it without all the usual layers of judgment or efforts to resist. We spend so much time and burn so much energy thinking something should be different than it is or scheming to find ways to change our situation or our feelings. Tara Brach, a wonderful meditation teacher and psychologist calls this resistance being at war with our reality. But the foundational pillar of acceptance reminds us that we actually have the capacity to develop a different relationship to our experience, one that doesn't require endless amounts of energy, and is characterized by letting it be. This invites spaciousness and helps us to recognize our thoughts and feelings before making a choice about how to respond to them. And while this may be contrary to your current way of thinking, the denial of our experience of negative thoughts, feelings, or sensations is actually what leads us to the same automatic habitual and critical patterns of mind that leave us feeling locked in, stuck, and unhappy. Consider now if there's something you feel challenged to accept and what resisting it feels like. Does it help? Just notice. The final foundation we'll discuss deals with letting go, or practiced non-attachment. And this is perhaps the most difficult of all of the attitudinal foundations. All human beings are inclined to hold onto things, people, and events long after their time has passed. We tend to grasp for what we want, and want more of what we like or feel we need. Interestingly, we have an equal propensity to hold onto negative situations. Can you think of any old wounds or disappointments from long ago that you're still holding onto? Letting go is a way of letting things be and requires that our hearts be aligned with the way things actually are. In our meditation practice, we see our thoughts, body sensations, and feelings come and go, over and over again. As we continue to practice, we see that this is not unlike life. Everything in life changes, in the outer world and in our inner world. Nothing is exempted from this basic law of physics. The more clearly we see this, the easier it is to let things go. We're not as horrified when a relationship ends, a job is lost, or when people die. This isn't to say that these situations suddenly feel easy, but we don't add to their difficulty by clinging to something that's had its time. What are you attached to? Is there an area of your life that might benefit from a little less clinging? Explore this the next time you practice, you might be surprised by the sense of freedom it brings. So remember, keeping these attitudes in minds as you move through various experience in your day is a critical part of this training. Some of them will come more naturally for you than others, but if you stay committed to doing the work all of these skills can continue to develop over time.
