5.15 Coping with major life transitions

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From the course by University of Toronto

The Arts and Science of Relationships: Understanding Human Needs

89 ratings

University of Toronto

The Arts and Science of Relationships: Understanding Human Needs

89 ratings

This course provides an introduction to: 1. Basic concepts of The Strategies and Skills Learning and Development System (SSLD), their relevance for every day relationships and provide advanced concepts for participants who work in fields of social work and health care . 2. Basic practice principles and methods of SSLD, illustrated by relationship management case studies. 3. The SSLD framework for relationship management assessment; N3C (needs, circumstances, characteristics, capacity) and problem translation. 4. Core competencies in the relationship management application of the SSLD system: Observation learning, simulation, real life implementation, review and monitoring.

From the lesson

Module 5 - Challenges, Endings, and Transformation

Introduction to the concept of Six Domains of Human Life and its application in different parts of a relationship. This module explores the transformation and termination of relationships and their challenges.

5.12 Transformation & Termination2:53

5.13 Coping with transformation and termination5:31

5.14 Coping with emotional challenges4:26

5.15 Coping with major life transitions4:09

5.16 Self-Preservation5:40

5.17 Difficult Transition3:01

5.18 Lifeworld Design8:19

Meet the Instructors

A. Ka Tat Tsang
Founder of the SSLD System; Professor and Factor-Inwentash Chair in Social Work in the Global Community
Factor-Inwentash Faculty of Social Work

You mentioned, you know, taking the time to recognize our feelings and where we're at and

engaging in some pleasurable activities and that kind of thing.

Do you have other strategies as well for people to deal or

cope with major life transitions?

>> Well, I think for people who can view any kind of support around himself or

herself, I would definitely encourage people to do that.

Very often if you're able to talk to someone, like share your feelings and

gain some support, it would be helpful.

That person that you talk to doesn't have to be like the person who's

closest to you, your best friend, your sort of your logical person to talk to.

Sometimes these people when they try to be helpful can be like your family member,

your brother or sister or whatever. Because they're very eager to help

and they would be offering you analysis and advice.

And sometimes it can make you feel bad, right.

They can point out that like you're stupid.

You make the wrong decision.

I told you that this guy was a jerk and then all that.

That wouldn't really help you.

I think what you would want to be doing is to talk to someone

who can make you feel good.

And this is why I think some people do that.

They may be talking to the bartender or to their hair stylist,

or you take a train ride and talk to a stranger, you know.

But I would say talk to anyone who makes you feel good.

And you would have some judgement and be a little bit selfish during that period.

Like don't spend too much time worrying about, okay, is it fair to this friend?

Am I going to make this person feel good?

Should I be like, you know, just pouring everything out?

Allow yourself to be selfish for a little period in your life.

Because what is most important now is for you to regain emotional equilibrium.

So any conversation, any meeting or you know,

spending time with someone that would offer you a

sense of support, do that. And you know, some people may like at

these very critical moments, do something that they have never done before.

Say for example, some people never go to church.

And then, going to a church or temple or

mosque will help you, I would say by all means.

Some people never meditate and like doing that is helpful, then I would say do it.

The key thing is for you to feel supported and

allow yourself the time and space to take care of yourself and not be harsh on yourself.

>> Right, because obviously when a relationship changes or ends,

you don't have that same support that you did for your partner and that's why its really

good to get that from, you know replace that need, that gap that missing at that point,

with social support, however you can, so that makes sense.

>> Yeah, and I think it is a very good point

because it's really SSLD approach to things.

Like you're creating, building alternatives, yeah.

>> So some of the important things that you brought up here were take the time to

recognize that feeling emotional is perfectly natural.

Accept where you're at, and eventually the goal is to, in time,

get to a point of emotional stability.

In the interim, you might be engaging in some

other pleasurable activities or indulging a bit.

But just take the time to recognize if it's really helping you and

if it's coming back to that feeling of self-care.

And then, of course, finding a way to build your social support social network.

And talk to someone who might help to fill

the needs that your partner or the person in your relationship was once meeting.

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