And then, how do needs and motivation fit into that as a kind of other domain? >> So following along this divorce example, which is a kind of transformation, some people look at it as like a termination even. But if you have ongoing unfinished business, like custody of the children you know and all that, the relationship actually is not terminated. It's actually transformed. So and I just mentioned that whatever choice that you have made, there would be like an emotional dimension to it. And then the emotion's obviously is connected to whether your needs are being met or not. Some people who are in the break up situation, or in the divorce situation, or in any kind of drastic transformation, the key consideration obviously is like, am I going to be able to meet my needs, right? So if this is the kind of needs that this relationship is supposed to meet, it can be like provision of physical, material resources, like the house you live in, like a car to drive, and you know, steady monthly income to depend on. If I'm going to lose that, like some of my needs will not be met. Like in this relationship in which I'm depending on for like a sense of security, or some people actually are dependent on relationship for their identity. Like some people do not really know who they are, but they are known as the spouse of this famous singer [LAUGH] or
>> right. the partner of this designer or photographer, you know. So, and all of a sudden, their identity [LAUGH] would be questioned. But then, you can also imagine for some people, that's exactly because they find a good way to define themselves that they feel comfortable to transform the relationship. So, yeah, like the motivation part is important. It's the need that are met or not met in the transformed relationship. And, in our opinion, the most important thing to look at, when you're transforming a relationship is to try to make sure that your own needs are being met. >> And especially like those emotional needs around feeling okay, right? >> Mm-hm. >> Would be an important aspect as well, so emotional gratification, that kind of thing? >> Yeah, I think from our experience, working with people going through drastic transformation of relationships, the key issue very often is not only about the relationship, it's usually about self. Like people, are they feeling okay about themselves? Are they questioning themselves? Are they questioning their own worth as a human being? Unfortunately, some people who go through difficult transformation, who come to the position of believing that they are worthless, or they have failed, or they're not worthwhile, attractive people. And some people may be so upset and disturbed by this experience that they may actually do things that are harmful to themselves. Yeah, so I think it's really important that when we're looking at emotions and needs, we will be focusing on the needs that pertains to one's sense of self worth, like identity. That's really important, yeah.