5.9 How can we deal with each other's unmet needs?

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From the course by University of Toronto

The Arts and Science of Relationships: Understanding Human Needs

86 ratings

University of Toronto

The Arts and Science of Relationships: Understanding Human Needs

86 ratings

This course provides an introduction to: 1. Basic concepts of The Strategies and Skills Learning and Development System (SSLD), their relevance for every day relationships and provide advanced concepts for participants who work in fields of social work and health care . 2. Basic practice principles and methods of SSLD, illustrated by relationship management case studies. 3. The SSLD framework for relationship management assessment; N3C (needs, circumstances, characteristics, capacity) and problem translation. 4. Core competencies in the relationship management application of the SSLD system: Observation learning, simulation, real life implementation, review and monitoring.

From the lesson

Module 5 - Challenges, Endings, and Transformation

Introduction to the concept of Six Domains of Human Life and its application in different parts of a relationship. This module explores the transformation and termination of relationships and their challenges.

5.7 Separation-Individuation 15:35

5.8 Separation-Individuation 23:43

5.9 How can we deal with each other's unmet needs?3:06

5.10 Aging: Part 15:53

5.11 Aging: Part 23:03

Meet the Instructors

A. Ka Tat Tsang
Founder of the SSLD System; Professor and Factor-Inwentash Chair in Social Work in the Global Community
Factor-Inwentash Faculty of Social Work

With the interrelationship kind of how do we deal

with that acknowledgment and needs not being met?

>> So yeah, this is the constant SSLD question, you know.

When things change, how do we address our needs within this changed context, right.

And we always talk about you know N3C,

So and when a relationship changes like we can be related to

Like changes in the characteristics of one or both of the partners.

It can be also related to the change in

the circumstances and it can also be like changing needs.

So what now we are dealing with is the last C,

that is like building the capacity to negotiate these changes and

the differences created by these changes.

So the key process still will be very

effective open direct communication.

>> Okay, with this open direct communication

how is that effectively played out in our lives?

>> Well, first of all, we realized that the purpose is to communicate to the other

party that one, I'm aware of certain changes have happened.

I am like wanting to do the best

regarding our relationship that can be, you know like negotiating a

new pattern of interaction, if that is what we call a transformation, and

we can also be like communicating the fact that I want my needs to be met.

I am also respectful of the fact that your needs have to be addressed as well.

So we want to have like an open communication regarding how

the two of us can work together, all right, to make modifications to

relationship so that it would like be functional or

helpful or beneficial to both of us.

So that is likely the general spirit and the knowledge to do that,

a key principle is like when we're communicating, we focus

on this intention of helping each other to understand our needs better and

it's not an exercise in you know placing blame, and who has done wrong.

And like whether you owe me

or you have done things to hurt me.

Try to stay away from the blaming and accusation. >> right.

But more focused on what are my needs, what are your needs.

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