6.20 It all comes back to the self: The SSLD ideal

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From the course by University of Toronto

The Arts and Science of Relationships: Understanding Human Needs

164 ratings

University of Toronto

The Arts and Science of Relationships: Understanding Human Needs

164 ratings

This course provides an introduction to: 1. Basic concepts of The Strategies and Skills Learning and Development System (SSLD), their relevance for every day relationships and provide advanced concepts for participants who work in fields of social work and health care . 2. Basic practice principles and methods of SSLD, illustrated by relationship management case studies. 3. The SSLD framework for relationship management assessment; N3C (needs, circumstances, characteristics, capacity) and problem translation. 4. Core competencies in the relationship management application of the SSLD system: Observation learning, simulation, real life implementation, review and monitoring.

From the lesson

Module 6 - Relationships & Self

The final module covers various topics related to relationships, including love, sexuality, intimacy, and relationship problems.

6.12 Instrumental Relationships6:07

6.13 Relationship Problems - Communication4:43

6.14 A Case on Relationship Problem3:03

6.15 Dealing with Relationship Problems6:19

6.16 Affairs: Part 15:37

6.17 Affairs: Part 2 - Affairs and Beyond3:40

6.18 Dysfunctional Relationships6:31

6.19 The Challenges of Transformation and Change2:33

6.20 It all comes back to the self: The SSLD ideal3:21

Concluding the Course2:06

Meet the Instructors

A. Ka Tat Tsang
Founder of the SSLD System; Professor and Factor-Inwentash Chair in Social Work in the Global Community
Factor-Inwentash Faculty of Social Work

From that it's so interesting.

So it really kind of comes back to this idea that even though a relationship

is very much something between two or even more people.

Sometimes in order to really foster a good relationship we have to focus on ourselves

first, and really

recognize what we need in order to better meet the needs of our partner.

>> Yeah, so it all comes back to this, right.

Relationships are built by people and then relationship

also serve a function in the individual's life.

And we are in relationships because the relationships are addressing our needs and

when relationships fail to address our needs and they are no longer effective.

And people will be motivated to change or opt out of those relationships.

So I think that is the general idea that we have got.

But in the SSLD system, we tend to be a little bit like optimistic.

We generally believe that most relationships can be improved and

when relationships can be further improved,

we can probably negotiate a good transformation.

So that it would create a situation and a set of conditions for

the participants' needs to be better met.

So, and it can also include

the possibility of a termination which we also talked about.

We understand that for some people like relationship can be there and stay stable.

My own personal bias is that like while I respect that it can be some

people's choice and it might also be doable for some people

given the rapid changes that are happening all around us in most parts of the world.

My personal bias is that we actually may need to

keep responding to changing circumstances.

And then people also change as they move through different stages of life, so

my own position is that maybe may have to keep constantly reviewing our needs,

circumstances and changes including our characteristics and capacity.

And reconfigure ways of managing or

handling our relationships so that we are actually deriving

satisfaction from them and as you put it like it is not just about ourselves,

it's also working in sort of mutual benefits.

So that whoever you're having a relationship with is also having his or

her needs' met, and hopefully in an ideal world,

the person that we're having the relationship with will also

be learning, changing, developing, and growing.

I think that's kind of like an ideal situation that we wish for in SSLD.

>> Mm-hm.

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