(dramatic music) - Welcome back. How was that experience of connecting with the microaggression you experienced, witnessed, or maybe even used? Did it bring back any past feelings, sentiments, or even triggers? Have you considered whether humor may have been relative or someone overestimated their relationship or comfort level? Did their lack of intent to offend lessen the impact at all? As you reflect on your own experiences, these are all things to consider when communicating with others. We talked about intentional inclusion in module one, and awareness of people's hidden identities that may affect their perspectives, experiences, and interactions. Might a comment you are thinking of making be related to a person's hidden identities or one of someone in proximity to them. What's really the intent of the comment. Can it be said another way that excludes someone's personal identities. Considering these questions may help your foot stay out of your mouth. What's more, it can help you steer clear of what could be an employee relations investigation for harassment or discrimination of a protected class. Now, let's think about what you could have done differently in the situation you experienced or observed. Did you interrupt or address the microaggression that occurred? Why or why not? How would you have done so? As simple as it sounds, it's not that easy to do. Often when you hear a microaggression, you might feel stunned, not sure what to say in the moment, or think that it's better to address after the fact. Either way, my advice is to address it when you can. If you don't, you give that person license to say it again, either to you or to someone else. And that can have a detrimental impact on an organizational environment and others willingness to bring their full selves to an organization. So, then how do you address a microaggression when it occurs? Well, there are two ways you can go about it. Calling the person in or calling the person out. You may have heard what has come to be known as the calling out culture. Calling out may have a negative connotation for a number of different reasons. First, a call out is often public, and often the goal of a call-out to address a microaggression is to shame or disgrace the person who made the comment. This happens quite a lot on social media these days, as often a call-out begins with others piling on. This can happen because a call-out often occurs when someone has been triggered as it taps into emotions about the status quo that is normalized the comment being made. Think back to module two, where we discussed our snap judgment point. That applies to our knee-jerk reactions to such comments as well. Call-outs are often not thought out, but emotionally based. It still appropriately draws attention to the comment, but may not take into account how they're addressing it lands on the receiver, which can have an impact on the relationship. This may be more appropriate in situations where there's not a relational history, or if the comment was so egregious in a public setting that it must be addressed. Calling in, however, is more thoughtful. Though it can be public or private, the primary goal of calling someone in is to build awareness, allowing the receiver to seek understanding from you. In this case, the goal is to seek to be understood by inviting the person into a productive conversation. This is often easier when there's a previous relationship with the person who said the microaggression, as it takes into account your desire for them to do better and be better. That said, calling in is an act of care. It means you care enough about the person that you don't want an opinion to be formed about them because of them making such comments. And that you'd like to maintain with them a productive relationship. So how do you call someone in? Well, everyone has their own approach, and you have to do what feels right for you. However, here are a few recommendations. The first I'd like to offer is a good old fashion ouch. It's universal language for something that hurts, and that's what microaggressions do. They hurt. It also gives you a moment to plan to explain how and why the microaggression was hurtful. Then there are more probing questions such as, tell me more about that or what do you mean by that? Or how did you arrive at that conclusion? These kinds of call-ins encourage the speaker to really think about what they're saying and provide an explanation for their rationale. Some more direct responses are, I'm not comfortable with you saying that to me, or that's not inclusive language. This may be more appropriate when the comment is more egregious or is in a public setting where it can have an effect on organizational climate. While these are just recommendations, the goal is to find your own voice in the moment. And as I mentioned, sometimes the best time is after the event has happened. Circling back, particularly with someone with whom you have a relationship and taking the opportunity to provide a teachable moment. I've found that when I address microaggressions, whether in the moment or later that it really does provide an opportunity for growth and awareness for both parties. Try it out. The worst that can happen is that you stood up for yourself for others with the marginalized and microaggressed identity, and you've made it clear the behavior is unwelcome. Now you may be wondering, what if people don't like to be corrected? What if they don't understand why this is important? How can I normalize this behavior within my organization? I call that creating a culture of calling people in. If you recall from module one, organizational culture is a collection of values, beliefs, and norms of an organization. The first question to ask is whether your organization values an inclusive environment where all can bring their whole selves to work or in an educational environment where all can bring their whole selves to learn. If this is a core value of your organization, it's likely because there's a belief that inclusive environments allow those within them to be more productive and engaged. And it's worth being intentional about creating them. Such values and beliefs would arguably facilitate and necessitate a norm that when any member of the community feels as though they cannot bring their whole selves to an organization because they fear their identities will be marginalized. There should be an opportunity to create an inclusive environment by calling attention to the marginalizing behavior. That's why addressing microaggressions is so important. And I hope you will take that opportunity. This is the ultimate application of this module to our organizations. Communication is the one thing that we all do, whether written, verbal or non-verbal. Calling in microaggressions is a real opportunity to create a teachable moment that can have lasting effects on your organization's climate and culture. Here's some essential questions for reflection. Have you considered the impact of microaggressions and marginalizing language on your environment? Are you willing to address microaggressions to create teachable moments and more intentional inclusion? What would it take to create a culture of calling in at your organization? We've reached the end of module three, microaggressions and inclusive communication. I hope you'll join me for our final module, privilege, advocacy and equity. (dramatic music)
