[MUSIC] Welcome to Part 2 of listening and inclusive leadership. The first lesson define listening, and explained why it matters to inclusive leadership. I describe active listening, the ability to focus completely on a speaker, understand their message, comprehend the information, and respond thoughtfully. And I listed benefits of active listening. Now, let's explore how to be an active listener. First of all, set your intention to become an active listener, anytime someone is speaking to you. Regularly remind yourself up this intention. As you listen actively, be mindful of your thoughts and feelings. Be self aware in ways that I have described throughout the course. Be fully present and suspend judgment. Be open to what the other person is saying. Remember, most of us can hear faster than others speak. As I mentioned in the first lesson, this means that we have spare time to think and still understand what's being said. To listen actively, spend that spare time wisely. Try not to get sidetracked on topics that are not relevant to the discussion. If you catch yourself drifting, get back on track by focusing on the other person. Try not to spend much time, on mentally preparing for your turn to speak. Attend more to what the person is saying, that how you might respond. Monitor your thoughts to see if you're trying to one up the other person. Are you trying to come up with examples to show that you're smarter than they are. Or that you had better experience than there's? Check to see if you're trying to solve the problem, or figure out what advice to give the person as they are speaking. Although your intentions may be good, this may prevent you from hearing an important point. Or sensing something that the speaker is feeling. And if the speaker senses that you're distracted, they may not express everything they intended to. Notice the speaker's verbal, and nonverbal behaviors. One way to do that is by showing empathy for the other person. Leadership guru Stephen Covey connected empathy with one of his seven habits of highly effective people. Seek first to understand. He explained, in empathic listening you listen with your ears, but you also and more importantly, listen with your eyes and your heart. You listen for feeling, for meaning. You listen for behavior. Exhibit curiosity, ask open ended questions such as what was that like? How did that feel? As you focus on the person's seek to understand, thoughtful questions are more likely to come to you. While you manage your thinking, look for ways that you might be thinking under the influence TUI, of any prejudice or stereotypes about the speaker. I try to notice when I feel surprised by something that someone from a non dominant group says. If I probe my thoughts, I often realize that my surprise may be connected to a negative assumption. For instance, I recently facilitated a series of planning meetings with a group of employees. When one of the younger persons took the initiative to record and organize our thoughts, and to set up an online space for us to collaborate. I thought, wow, I ask myself why I was so surprised. I had to confess that it was probably due to societal beliefs that members of the younger generation, are self centered and they may try to avoid work. Mind you, I don't believe that. I know better, however, my brain had that reaction because of how it has been socialized. Thankfully I'm pretty good at controlling my nonverbal cues, so I doubt that anyone noticed my reaction. I honestly praised the person for their initiative, and I told their supervisor about it. I explained TUI and other examples in a video that is assigned for this lesson. These are just a few ideas for how to be an active listener. As you would do with any communication skill, consider the context as you apply these tips. For example, if a speaker seems to be over sharing or taking up too much time, you can choose to gracefully interrupt. If the group has agreed on guidelines for interaction, you might refer to them. Here's an example. Wait until the person stops to take a breath. Thank you for sharing, Todd. I can tell that this is an important topic for you. To follow our guidelines for interaction, let's give folks we haven't heard from a chance to speak. Or some situations may require you to listen to evaluate, and provide an alternative perspective. In that case, give yourself permission to use some of your spare thinking time in that way. Still try to suspend judgment, and use the rest of the time paying close attention to the speaker. For more details, and additional tips about active listening, please consult the resources for this lesson. In conclusion, active listening is crucial for inclusive leadership. It can yield many benefits for leaders and organizations. To gain these benefits, leaders will have to work diligently on improving themselves. I leave you with two thoughts. Columnist Mike Myatt offered blunt advice to leaders is not about you, he said. Stop worrying about what you're going to say, and focus on what's being said. Don't listen to have your opinions validated, or your ego stroked. Listen to be challenged, and to learn something new. You're not always right, so stop pretending you know everything, and humble yourself to others. If you desire to be listened to, then give others the courtesy of listening to them. Dutch writer an professor Henri Nouwen, offered an appealing perspective on how leaders can serve others by listening to them. He said, the beauty of listening is that those who are listened to, start filling accepted, start taking their words more seriously and discovering their own true selves. Listening, he said, is a form of spiritual hospitality, see you later.