I want to go back to the topic of defensive mechanisms, And ask whether they're necessarily bad or wrong? Are they the best way of coping with a situation that confronts us? I think we could probably see an argument for why it is that repression is not necessarily an ideal way of coping with an emotion that we find uncomfortable. Probably, if we try to stick it, keep it down in the unconscious for too long, it's going to spill out one form or another in a way that we might not like, in a way that might be embarrassing or otherwise problematic. So it's perhaps better to get it out into the open. But what about some other types of defensive mechanisms? One is as you've probably heard the phrase passive aggression. In passive aggression, we've got a case in which, for example, suppose you're angry at someone. But instead of confronting them and the issue that they've raise directly with them, you do something or series of things that are moderately but not hugely annoying. Such as take a very long time to responds to emails or texts or phone messages. Leave messes in common work or study areas. Communicate in ways that are cryptic or misleading, such as �fine, whatever�. If I respond to your suggestion by saying, �fine, whatever,� am I accepting what you say without any qualms? Am I throwing a little bit of salt or shade on the suggestion in order to be a little bit unpleasant? If the latter, then I suggest it�s a minor form of aggression not a direct in your face form of aggression. This is a defence mechanism. I feel uncomfortable, I feel unhappy, you're irritated about something. And I'm going to, so to speak, let you know about it by not hitting you over the head with a hammer. But rather by something more like take my fingernails and scraping down your back, to cause you unpleasantness, but not absolutely terrible pain. That form of passive aggression is very common, you might ask ourselves when we're doing that, And often we don't know we're doing it until afterwards, but then can learn how you behave when you're being passive aggressive and watch out from future scenarios. Why are we being passive aggressive? Is that always the best way to respond to the situation we find ourselves in? Sometimes it might be the best way. Sometimes there might not be a better alternative. But I'm suggesting we do well to ask ourselves whether that's the most effective, my most productive from way to go. Here's another example. Ghosting, you probably heard the term. This is another defense mechanism in which one partner in a relationship abruptly breaks off all contact with the other usually with no explanation given. So again, the student of seeker of self-knowledge might ask yourself is, I have an impulse to never see this person again, to cut off all contact with that person. But is that impulse the best thing to act on, or is it something that if I were to stand back from the situation, if I were to think about how I will feel about this a year from now, for example. Would I regret having done something so abrupt and extreme as ghosting what at least at one was a close friend of mine. Now, the defense mechanism which I want to hypothesize as a defense mechanism, although it might be a bit of a surprise. I want to suggest that some types of humor serve as defense mechanisms. In particular, I want to suggest some types of humour, not all, but some types of humour can be seen as a form of sublimation. I redirect emotions into an area that is socially more or less acceptable as long as the humour is not entirely inappropriate. So when we joke, I want to suggest it's often a way of working out of discomfort with some aspects of the situation. Consider for example irony. A situation that make me feel angry, or frustrated, or disappointed. I'm going to express that emotion directly, that sometimes is perfectly okay. However, another approach is to highlight the situations and show that we have some measure of mastery over it. So once many years ago, I was held up at gun point. In retrospect, after the situation was over and my nerves calmed down a little bit, I wasn't bothered so much about having lost my wallet because I was a graduate student and didn't have much money in it. I didn't have much money to speak of at all, so it wasn't a big deal to lose my wallet. But what bothered me was the fact that I didn't have anything funny to say in the situation. I wish I've come up with a relatively clever quip at that time while facing down the barrel of a gun because that would have felt like I was defending my pride at least against the onslaught that was coming from being held up. You might ask yourself whether there are situations in which being ironic or in some other way humorous is a way of coping with the difficult situation. Letting off some steam, allowing us to get a little bit in control of the situation, making ourselves feel a little bit better. And thereby defending ourselves against the problem at hand. Another question that we might think about aside from the moving away from the idea of defense mechanism is the following. I suggested that in order for an unconscious material to have an impact on our behavior, if there's such things as a defense mechanism, It seems like it needs to have some kind of experiential, and therefore conscious residue, something that gets above the surface of the water separating the conscious from the unconscious mind. So that in projection, we put emotions we have in ourselves onto others. Here's another concept now. In transference, we put emotions we have toward one person onto another. Projection and transference are easily confused. You get in projection where I've got is emotion inside of me and I put it on you, anger, attraction, whatever. In transference, I've got an emotion directed towards another person. And since that person might no longer be around, they might have passed away, they might have left in some other form. I'm now going to put it on another person most typically, this happens in the context of psychotherapy. So in psychotherapy, the therapist is finding that the patient has transferred their feelings of and about their parents or primary care givers onto them, that is the therapist. As such the therapist notices that the patient starts treating him as a mother figure or father figure, or some other figure from their time in their life. But this ensuring gives the therapist a chance to help the patient bring some of that unconscious material into conscious awareness. After settling into relationship in which the patient starts treating therapist as a mother figure, for example, the therapist then able to say, I see that you're treating me in a certain way even though I don't have those characteristics in a noticeable way. Can you begin to think about what motivates you to do that? What the urge with the impulse is to make you treat me that way? And there's at least a hope that the patient will as a result of that line of questioning begin to realize that there are emotions that she has towards her mother. That she's now put onto the therapist, and she can begin to be aware of those emotions. [MUSIC]
