[MUSIC] We are relational beings in a living ecosystem and we constantly interact with others. And the first step in a relationship is one on one. Let me stop for a second and go back to the use of one of our five primary senses. One I have not yet discussed. A very sensitive one indeed, touch. I really understood the power of touch as a relational tool when I was pregnant and discovered the word haptonomy. Haptonomy comes from the verb haptein and means I touch, I reunite, I establish a relationship. It is a method developed by Catherine Dolto. To establish sensible and emotional contact between parents and their baby. The father and mother use touch to build a physical relationship and establish a dialog with their baby by caressing the abdomen in a specific way. This establishes communication as the fetus response and moves inside the womb towards the hand. Sometimes contact is initiated by the fetus when hands are placed on different parts of the stomach. The baby moves to establish contact, so the relationship can begin, and it would be like a dialogue. Babies who have experienced haptonomy as a fetus have been shown to be unusually and consistently tonic and outgoing afterbirth. Haptonomy is touch is used as a source of openness and contact between an outer and an inner world. So when we know the value of open mindedness and adaptability in today's multicultural and diverse environment, we can appreciate the value of being open and turn to others. At birth. The relational skill attached to touch is the capacity for contact. Touching and feeling are often used interchangeably, a misconception that confuses the physical sense with the emotional state. With touch, as a cognitive skill. A person can indeed grow a capacity to detect people's sensibility through contact. For me, haptonomy was a unique moment of conversation with my babies. It was mostly tactile and through voice, and it carried the essence of exchange. The fantastic contact that you have when establishing a connection in between two living organisms. Just for the sake of contact with no other intention, but the pleasure of interacting. This is the mindset I would like to encourage you to have when thinking about the conversation, a sheer moment of sharing with no other intention the quality moment of sharing. And as you will see, the guiding principle of a savoir relier conversation is first, no intention. Another principle is no judgment. And the third one is no right and wrong. To engage in the conversation you will start by sharing your self portrait with a peer randomly picked among the MOOC participants. For this first experience with the conversation we will match you with someone in your time zone and possibly near you just in case you could meet in person and do the exercise face to face. And now here what those who have done the conversation have to say about it. >> Frankly, when we're in the conversation, I didn't know how those two hours passed. We just got into talking and we started sharing our ideas and I was very surprised how we established a connection and a relationship, and it was mutual. Once when we started sharing, we started reciprocating and we started understanding each other, and I could know him and I could see a lot of similarities between my innovations and my theories and the same about his and that, sort of like, gave me reassurance that we are not as different as we think ourselves to be. And we have the same ways of thinking and the same priorities, goals, much more so that what we imagine them to be. So it was a great experience. >> I've just finished the self portraits. We've been talking for two hours. It was so intense. So, so intense. We talked about everything. And I feel at peace, actually I don't feel naked, I don't feel weird. A bit weird, maybe. But mainly at peace, and I'm very happy that I got to know this person that I didn't know at all before so well in such a short period of time. It's pretty incredible, really. >> Well, the conversation is done now and I feel naked, but exhausted, but also more free in some way. >> After the conversation now I really feel relieved, because I can now trust the person whom I did the conversation, and even if I was afraid in the beginning, I really feel that the other person respects me, and that I can respect her, because we shared it in a very honest and trustful way, so I think it's a big relief for me, and like could be happiness for myself or for the other person. >> You see that if you're a bit nervous, skeptical, or anxious others have felt that way too. But they overcame that fear and enjoyed the conversation. So don't worry. And don't forget the three golden rules for effectiveness. No right and wrong. No intention. And no judgement. I'm now inviting you to go back to the site savior-relier.com to do your first conversation experience. On the site you will find all the details about the process. Follow the guidelines carefully and make sure you choose a place and time suitable for you and your peer. A quiet place where you can concentrate alone with your phones off and preferably headsets so no other noise comes to disturb you. Enjoy your pure moment of interaction and I'll see you again in our next episode for the debrief session.