[MUSIC] Active and sensible listening is an essential leadership skill that opens the door to empathy. Many of you have mentioned those skills in the inspiring leaders you described earlier in the course. But why are they so important? Let's hear Apollonia on this question. Apollonia will explain why empathy is an important leadership skill and she will share examples of when it impacted her. >> I believe empathy is important to understand and be sensitive to other people's situation. And maybe build a better answer than if you had been oblivious or closed up to their context. Of course, this always comes also at the risk of being too empathetic, and then going beyond your level and zone of comfort, which doesn't necessarily bring out the better solution. Also listening too much to people's insights and thoughts, drives you away from maybe a more original or genuine idea. >> So now I'm going to ask you to engage in a role-play with two other people you know. It can be just anyone. They don't need to know anything about the MOOC, and you just need to explain to them the roles they are going to use. But of course, it's even better if you can invite them to do the MOOC. Each of you will play, in turn, one of the three roles, the speaker, the listener, the observer. Each role should last maximum seven minutes. Please, make sure you respect the timing for efficiency. As a speaker, you will share the story of a real, recent, personal act of leadership. As a listener, you will concentrate on what the speaker is saying, with the possibility of asking questions and interacting. As an observer, you will watch carefully the body language of both the speaker and the listener, and be ready to give feedback on what you see during the interaction. The attitude, the hand gestures, facial expression quantity of interaction between the speaker and the listener. Once you've done your role-play, answer the questionnaire in your SR journal. What role did you find most difficult? And why? And what conclusions do you draw? Click the sentences that illustrate what you conclude and add your own feedback if necessary. If you found the speaker role to be the most difficult, because I am shy and it is difficult for me to speak, because I couldn't find a topic at first. Because I was concerned about sharing something personal with strangers. Because I didn't feel like speaking. If you find the listener role to be the most difficult, because I wanted to interfere constantly. Because what the speaker said reminded me of my own story of leadership acts. Because my mind was wandering. Because I couldn't focus. And if you found the observer role to be the most difficult. Because I felt excluded from the discussion. Because I didn't know what to observe. Because I was frustrated about not being able to speak. Because I couldn't focus on both the speaker and the listener. Because my mind was interfering with the story in my own thoughts. Of course, there are no right or wrong answers in this exercise. Here again, the ladder of inference can help you and push you in improving your listening skills. By using inquiring in a genuine way, asking questions that balance your arguments so that advocacy is documented and based on data that is verified and tested, you will become much more convincing in your discussions. One last tip to improve your capacity to listen and enter dialogue, and prepare you for our conversation is a practice of and versus but. Indeed, you need to come at the yes but or in French [FOREIGN] syndrome. I've spent 25 years of my life with a man who begins most of his sentences with [FOREIGN] which literally means no, but it's not that. Then continuing, sometimes by saying the same thing I was saying myself. It's quite frustrating and hard to engage in positive dialogue. The yes-but syndrome governs most of our conversations because we feel we need to oppose to exist. If you start paying attention to this, you will realize how often people use but, as if but meant I exist. I have ideas, too, you know? Here, then, is a tip on effective discussion, dialogues, debates, or conversations. Let the person speak and respond when appropriate, starting your next sentence with and, instead of yes, but. Even if you're going to contradict the person's argument, you can do that. It's perfectly fine to disagree, and it's paramount that you express freely your own ideas. Diverging or opposing views are essential to innovation and progress. The elargism is part of what nourishes and enriches dialogues and debates. Still, counter arguments are much more convincing when brought up in a positive and subtle manner. Because when you say and, you connect with a person and your audience is on your side as allies, and not as enemies. Let's see an example of such a role-play. You can clearly identify the speaker, the listener, and the observer. Observe how she behaves as a listener, and finally, look how the observer is watching with her five primary senses, both the speaker and listener behaviors. You can play with this in your next friendly discussion and interrupt every but to replace them by ands. And you will be surprised at how this enlightens your relationships. So after you've played this role-play, let's see how the ACE methodology applies. About the A you have learned theory about the value of your senses, how your emotions influence your perception of the world, and even your thoughts. And you have a quiz to validate this. About the E, you have experienced this with a few exercises, such as the painting exercise and the active listening role-play. About the C, is the critical thinking and open, self-reflective mind you should have at every stage of your leadership journey. To conclude this second module, I have another question to test the intensity of your attention. Can you tell how many times I have changed shirts in the different episodes of the module? And how many different shirts, or polos, have I worn since the beginning? If you answer correctly, it means you are really paying close attention, otherwise, you need to focus even more. All these exercises have you warmed up for the next module where you will live a new experience with a true authentic conversation out of your self-portrait.
