Springsteen is able to be himself wherever he is. This is the skill of embodying values consistently. He is grounded by his musical mission, by his family, his commitment to community. And he performs music, songs that he believes in. His core values guide his behavior in all the different parts of his life. That's what we mean by embodying values consistently. He speaks out, he is steadfast in supporting people that he cares about. He's seen by so many people, as a result of his authenticity and consistency, he's seen by so many people around the world as a kind of friend. Even those people who don't know him. There was a film a couple of years ago called Springsteen & I that was a compilation of individuals from around the world talking about the impact that he has had through his music, and his public persona, the impact that he's had on these people. And they're all stories of being inspired by the sense of connection to someone who seems quite real to them. So, this loyalty that he inspires comes, in part, from his striving to be himself. He devotes himself to the power of music as a way to elevate our spirit, and people feel that because of his devotion to it and his faith in humanity, which is expressed in all of his public statements through music, interviews, etc. This idea of giving voice to truths about injustice evolved over the course of his career and really came to a kind of turning point, as I've said, following 9/11. And the album The Rising that immediately followed that where he saw his role as helping his community and our society come to terms with the shock and grief that attended that tragedy. So, he became even more politically active and closer still to expressing his values with respect to the role each of us plays as citizens in our society. So, he's continued to grow, and his work as a result has become increasingly meaningful, in terms of the larger social impact and social context of his work. To embody values consistently is like all of the skills we've been exploring in our course, not easy. But again, like all of the skills we've been studying, possible to develop. So, here's another exercise that you can try. Springsteen learned over the course of his life how to reflect on his experience and to understand better who he was, what he stood for, and how to express that. So, you can learn how to sing your song, perhaps not like The Boss, but like you. Here's something you can try. Think of some action that you take that is consistent with your core values, probably most of the things that you do are, but you probably don't think about it very much. So, for example, maybe something you try and maybe have not always succeeded in doing, like taking care of your body so that you can be healthy for your family. That's something that many people have an aspiration to do but fail to do. Think of an activity, whatever it is, and connect it to something that you care about deeply, consciously thinking about that connection. And then for a couple of weeks, maybe even a month, try to do that activity on a daily basis. Tell others about it and write about it with respect to how this fits with who you see yourself being. And the values that you hold dear and the people who you want to be serving, why you are doing what you are doing. That's the key, reflecting and thinking about what you're doing so that you can connect your actions with the values that you want to express, through your actions, in different parts of your life. So, after this period of a few weeks, think about, and talk about, with somebody who you trust, was this easy? Was it hard to do? What did you learn from trying to act in a way that was consistent with your values, not just for yourself, but for other people that you care about? What's some other thing that you might try that would be similarly anchored in who you are, who you want to be in the different parts of your life? Let's move on to the second of the skills that Springsteen's story illustrates so well, and that is clarifying expectations. Is perhaps the most important of the skills having to do with being whole. It involves communicating about what you need from the people around you, the people who matter most to your present and your future, and listening to them as to what they expect of you. And Springsteen's good at this. It's expressing what matters to you, what you need from other people, talking, and of course listening, taking in the ideas and feelings of other people to be inquiring, so that you can find common ground. And build on it, advocating and inquiring. His insistence on getting the sounds just right in recording his albums, making it really clear what he needed and not stopping until he got it. There is an occasions on one of his live albums where he's playing a song called 49 Shots and it starts really quiet, and he says to the audience, 20,000 people in an arena, I need you to be quiet now. And just right after that, hush. People listened. He was clear about what he needed from his audience in order to perform the song in a way that it needed to be heard, from his point of view. His demanding of excellence thinking, the released date is just one day, we can push that back, the album is forever. Super high standards of excellence in the quality of what he produced, especially early on, which has mellowed some. But still fully committed to bring the best every single night, and that is another aspect we haven't talked much about, but the performances are legendary, not just for their length and their joyousness, but for how. The quality is consistent every single night. In his early days he would go around and sit in many of the different seats during sound check. He'd hear what his band sounded like from many different seats in the arena just so that the sound would be good. He made sure that that was apparent to him, to his own ears. Because he cared so much about making sure that his audience got the best of his music. He wanted to protect his kids from public scrutiny as he was extremely famous and wealthy and his kids could be vulnerable. He had his band members sign a non-disclosure agreement that was yet another. Way in which he was expressing, clarifying expectations with them so as to ensure the band knew what was acceptable and what was not with respect to speaking about his kids. But of course, clarifying expectations is a two way street. You've got to listen and change as a result of what you hear and all story tellers, like Springsteen, a great storyteller, they become good story tellers by listening well, by paying attention, by hearing what other people are saying, what's underneath the words. Or just responding directly to the words. So, when that stranger passing in a car after 9/11 said, Bruce, we need you now. He heard that. He took that and then he responded by producing new music that was a response to that need. Listening to one of his mentors, John Landow, his manager, and learning from him. Learning from his band new ways to create music and hearing from them than what was important to them. This is a signal aspect of the many skills that Bruce Springsteen has developed over time as a great leader in the different parts of his life. Clarifying expectations is something that you can never be too good at. And here are some ways for you think about what you can do to build those muscles at being good at clarifying expectations to the people that matter most to you. To practice listening and advocating. It starts as a number of our exercises have begun, with identifying who matters to your future your stakeholders. Choose one of those people. Maybe the most important people in your life. The most important person, the single most important person to your future. Who is that? Why are they important to you? Now, write down what you think. They need from you, what are their needs? When they see you, what do they look for? Is it attention, is it money, is it recognition, is it information? What is it? And now, repeat that exercise of writing out what the most important people in your world expect of you. Repeat that for a few people in the different parts of your life. Your home, your family, your community. And then talk to them to clarify those expectations. And here's how I recommend you do that. Instead of simply approaching someone who matters to you and saying, hey, what's important to you in our relationship? Instead you say something along the lines of, our relationship matters to me. Our future matters to me. And I'd like to talk with you about how we can strengthen it. Are you willing to do that? Sure, I'd love to do that, stew, thanks for thinking of me that way. Well okay, let's spend some time on that. Now, I've given some though to what I think is important to you. Let me tell you what I think matters to you, and then you tell me if I've got it right. So, then you lay it out, here are the four things that I think are the most important to you, do I have it right? And saying that in that way, you open yourself to being wrong, which is a good thing, because you help the person you're talking to feel comfortable saying what it is that you've gotten wrong. And you probably have gotten some of it wrong. As most people do. What you think other people expect of you is a little bit different than what they actually do. In some cases, very different. And, you'll be pleased to know, once you try this and tell us about it, what other people expect of you is probably going to be a little less than what you think they expect of you. Miss it that again because you probably thinking you still don't know my spouse, my boss, my parents, fill in the blank. Well, I have coached, literally tens of thousands of people using this method and I know from experience and evidence that most people have In their heads and understanding of what other people expect of them. That's wrong, it's too high. Not in every case, but in most cases. So you say, here's what I think you expect of me, is it accurate? Which gives other people a chance to respond to you, to clarify specifically what you have said. And then, to add additional or to change. So, if you go into the conversation, I think these four things are most important to you. A typical pattern in these conversations is for the other person to then say to you, well, those first two things that you mentioned, extremely important. The third and fourth though, not that Not that significant for me. Really, I say. Tell me more about why those things are not important because I've been spending a lot of energy worrying about those things. Well, here's why those things really don't matter to me so much. Since you're being so open, inquiring, non defensive and you're really interested in my point of view I'm going to tell you something that you didn't mention. That is important to me. Wow, that's great. Tell me. And so you do. And so, I found out something new. Tell me more about that. Why is that important to you? How can I help you? Pursue that thing that's important to you. So what typically happens is I've got these four things in my head going into this conversation and I've eliminated two of them because you told me they're not important. And I've learned about another one, the third one, that I hadn't thought about. So, I went from four to three and I got smarter about what really matters to you. This makes my life a little easier, because now I know, more specifically, what matters to you and I also have a little less pressure. That's the idea. Try that. See what you discover. Clarifying expectations. All right, the third and the last of the 18 skills that we're going to discuss, the third one that Springsteen illustrates, is creating cultures of innovation. Basically, that means creating a world in which other people are inspired by your continually trying new stuff, that they are wanting to do the same, wanting to follow your lead. Springsteen looks for opportunities to show other people that he's learning new ways of doing things, and he encourages them to do that, he empowers them to do that, and you see that especially with his band. He is a fearless learner. That is contagious. He's always trying new things with his music and has always done that. His thirst for knowledge and his desire to change the world, to create great music. At the South by Southwest Keynote that I mentioned earlier. He's giving advice to the young musicians and express to them how important it was to maintain that hunger to learn and to step out of the mold that you've been in in order to continually refine and discover who you are as an artist. At the E Street's Hall of Fame induction ceremony, the E Street Band was inducted many years later, about 15 years after Bruce Springsteen, the individual artists, was inducted to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1999. At the E Street Band's induction, Springsteen spoke, as did a number of the band members, including his great friend for 40 years to 4 decades and guitarist, Steve Van Zandt, who said that one of the things that was so much fun and so inspiring about Springsteen as a leader was that he continuous to push us beyond where we taught we can go, and that compels us continue to innovate ourselves. The decades of therapy that he now has been speaking about, writing about, and talking about how that has been useful for him has been a source of inspiration and an opening for many people, particularly men, to pursue psychotherapy, and people who wouldn't otherwise have gone for that kind of help. So he's been a role model there helping people to destigmatize the process of getting professional psychological help as a tool for healing. Springsteen is a teacher. And you too can develop your skill in creating cultures of innovation by teaching. Anyone's mind can open more. I'm sure that you believe that, I certainly do as a professor for over 30 years. Learning is something that never stops. And Springsteen's life and work is certainly a testament to that. And when you display openness to discovering new ways of doing things, it inspires others to learn, there's a lot of research that supports that basic idea. So, when you demonstrate an eagerness to learn by letting people know that you want to learn from them, and by teaching them it helps them to feel like they can be and should be trying new things, discovering through trial and error. And, of course, there's a virtuous cycle. It helps you to feel more confident in your own capacity to innovate. So think of something that you could teach. What do you know that other people would be interested in learning about? It could be anything. And then find somebody who'd be interested in learning it, and teach it, in however way you think would be helpful to them. And then, spend a couple minutes, as usual, reflecting on that process. What was it like to be in the role of a teacher and to create an environment in which you were helping somebody else to learn something? How did that feel? What were you thinking? What did it tell you about yourself and your ability to inspire other people to grow, to learn? Springsteen is a very lucky person. He was born with prodigious talent. He discovered very early on in his life what his life was all about, and he had the capacity to give everything to that talent and to devote to his craft, to remain true to his beliefs, to acquiring the support and help that he needed to grow as an artist, as a performing artist, and as a person. To continue to care for those who depend on him. To maintain a commitment to serving and to build that commitment to service to others. And to learn through the various trials of his life, years when the music wasn't going so well, when his personal life was in a very, very sad and depressed state. He has been able to grow. Success for him as an artist is a consequence of the investments he's made in family, in community, in himself. Not by forsaking those other parts of his life but by devoting himself to those other parts of his life. He has grown, and had a bigger and bigger impact as a leader in this world. His music has been enriched and the impact that it's had has grown over time. His wife and bandmate, Patti Scialfa, at the Hall of Fame induction for the E Street Band said, thanks for making the best of both worlds possible.
