Emotion self-regulation is the process of managing our own emotions. Emotion co-regulation is different. It refers to the ongoing process between two people, where one person's emotions are continuously influenced by the actions and emotional reactions of the other person. In classrooms, this can be seen as a back-and-forth between the teacher and student with the goal of supporting the child's emotions. It also works between adults. Imagine that you and your colleague both hear upsetting news from your school or district leader. You both are feeling anxious. You walk up to your colleague who appears to be more stressed than you are. You smile and offer a warm greeting. In response, her face lights up, her breathing relaxes and she smiles back. In return, you feel calmer. You say, "don't worry, we'll figure this out." In this example, co-regulation is about establishing a more positive state of mind between you and the other person. How does this work? In the case of co-regulating with a child, just the presence of a caring adult can actually lower the levels of the stress hormone cortisol in the child. For this reason, a child can handle stress much better if they're with a person that makes them feel safe and secure. This person might be a parent, a teacher, a coach, and mentor, or another relative. When adults support each other or an adult supports a child, the stress hormone cortisol can decline during that moment of co-regulation. Also, the soothing hormone oxytocin and feel-good neurotransmitter, dopamine can increase, all promoting feelings of well-being throughout the brain and body. Our well-being depends a lot on our relationships, and the feelings that we're not alone that are burdens are seen and shared, improve our ability to cope. Co-regulation doesn't only apply to interactions between two people. Whole groups of people can be influenced too. For example, a principal might try to shift the feelings of her entire staff to be more enthusiastic and motivated about going back to school. Despite fears related to COVID-19. Or a teacher may influence the emotions of students in her class because she wants to transition them from the high-energy of recess to a lower energy required to focus on math. Some adults try to command students to settle down, but that's really not co-regulation. A teacher who co-regulates with her students actually helps them to settle. For example, by speaking in friendly but slightly softer and slower tones, acknowledging their feelings and energy, and moving to a brief mindfulness exercise or checking in with their feelings before turning to the subject. Why is it important to know about co-regulation? Humans are social creatures. We are always influencing each other's feelings, whether we realize it or not. To be able to do that with conscious awareness, intention, and skill is to wake up to a positive power, as well as to our responsibility to help others, especially those we love and care for.
