Last but not the least, Michelle, you talked about romantic love. You never give me an answer . Because I really don't know. But let's be practical, let's be Chinese. What are the consequences? Does romantic love guarantee better marriages? What do you think? How many of you are married? Well, I shouldn't say that. I mean, it's Hong Kong, you can do anything. Your parents are not here, but you are on record. So what do you think? Why are you getting married? What is the basis for marriage? What is the basis for marriage? Definitely it's not the diamond ring. What is the basis for marriage? How old are you? I'm 19. 19. Yeah . Can you get married? Yes. Yes. But you should not. Finish your degree first. So what is the basis for marriage? Commitment. So romantic. Commitment. Okay. You are safe. What is the basis for marriage? I think the basis for marriage is loving the self. Self love. One... So you marry in order to love yourself? Yes, to make myself more happier and... What about your wife? You just want yourself to be happy. She will take the same from my side. Mutual love. Okay. Alright. Mutal love. I have one last candy. What is the basis for marriage? I think it's partnership, so two people became one unit. So that you can get a bigger apartment, right? That is a good reason to get married. If you want a bigger apartment, get married, and two salaries. What is the basis for marriage? You give me, well, probably because of my prints, you know that the model answer is not love. So you gave me a lot of practical things. You gave me all that. The synonyms, rather than saying love, commitment, partnership, and love, self love, other's love. I love it. But the model answer, at least in the Western world, is that "love as the basis for marriage" is basically the motto. If you want to get married, that is what Ms. Potter was looking for. Why are you getting married? What? Good feelings, that's it? What else? I build houses for him, for her. When the parents are sick, I took them to the hospital. That's enough. Potter was in search of romantic love. She's expecting that. Why are you getting married? I'm getting married because of love. That could be part of it. Love as the... That motto actually goes back to the 18th century of Western world, and you are right. Is that Percy? Where is Percy? Oh, here. Marriage maybe is the expression of your individualism. I just love myself. I marry for love. Love is my feeling. You might be right, I want, I love, I get married because I want to have more self love. That could be an expression of that. Prearranged marriages are still existing in the current world. For example, in India, Japan, China, Western Africa, and research has found that this arrangement decreases with westernization. It could be that when you are getting more Westernized, women get more money and they can earn a living as well, and therefore they may try to pick their husband etc. Very oftentimes, people when they heard about prearranged marriage , they will be like, ''That's not ideal,'' because they have the assumption that if you want to have a good marriage, there must be love. They might say no, I don't accept that, but they accept it unconsciously. Okay. Quoting the Freudian term. When people contemplate, when they think about marriage, they give strong consideration to the impact the relationship have on their family rather than what their hearts say, and it could exist in all those countries, India, Pakistan, Thailand, West African. Is that good? Or is that bad? But this is like a fair analysis. Love as the basis for marriage, that's coming from the Western world or more individualistic countries. Whereas for collectivistic countries, they care more about family. Among... Love is among many considerations in the marriage. The romantic culture. What is it? Where is it? This is one of the most interesting studies. You could say that I come from Korea, of course. How many? Do I have anyone from Korea? No, it's okay. I love oppa. They are so handsome. That's the only Korean term that I know. Oppa, so Koreans must be very very romantic. If you are coming from Poland, they are handsome as well. They have hair etc. We have all the imagination. If I ask, are you coming from the romantic place? Jason, where are you from? Mainland. I know. Which part? Guangdong. Guangdong. Okay. Is that a romantic city? Maybe. He is Chinese. Very humble. Can you be less humble? For me, I think it is a romantic city because I have a romantic story. Tell them later. Now, I can go around. Where are you from? Azerbaijan. Wow. You. Very complicated. Okay. Is your country, is your city romantic? Not so much maybe. No. You are not Chinese, are you? Yeah, I'm not Chinese . Why are you so humble? I have studied in Asia. That's why. Okay. So he's getting Chinese. He's becoming more Chinese. You actually look like mix to me. But anyway, I can go around and ask where are you from? Which province? Which city? Is it romantic? Because of all of you around here, they have to be humble . Not very. As if romantic love is something very positive. Is that really so? But let's go back to here. Levin, in 1993, conducted a study. Instead of me going around and asking you all those questions, he had the college students, university students, answer the very question you answered. For boys, for girls, you read different things. When you say no, I don't know what you put down, when you say no, romantic love is more important. Whenever you say yes, romantic love is less important. Now as I recall, many of the guys here said no. I don't know whether they are trying to speak up more loudly, no, no, no, no, no. As for the girls, they are more realistic, they know that once you get married, you have babies or whatever, you need a rich husband , not just love. I don't know whether if it's girls or Chinese being more realistic. So this is exactly the study that they did, and why eleven? Well, probably they know friends there. Okay. Now those are the 11 cities that they chose, including Japan, and why? They happened to find a collaborator in Hong Kong, I guess. Now, of all this, look at the yellow bar. The yellow bar is no, meaning that they are more romantic. They say no. If you look at the five cities here or five countries here, they all have at least 80% saying no. US, Brazil, Australia, UK. Now, if you look at the yes bar. India, Pakistan. They have close to 50% saying yes. I'll marry that person even if I don't love him or her. Maybe because of food, maybe because of the family, maybe financial resources etc. Last but not the least , Hong Kong Chinese is in the middle, 78%, not bad. When I'm saying that, at the back of my mind, I want romantic love. But is that really good? Going back to here. No. US, Brazil, UK, Mexico, Australia. This is just on the basis of the results in the previous graph. Yes. India, Pakistan. Students in relatively individualistic countries, that is who think for themselves with higher living standards, were significantly more romantic. Maybe they have choice, maybe they don't need to consider other considerations. Whereas people who are in India and Pakistan, maybe they are more collectivistic, they need to be concerned with love as well as other resources. Now, is romantic love a guarantee or a pass to better marriages? Little empirical support for this Western view exists. This claim is very shaky if you just look at it. I don't need the results or whatsoever, the figures. But if you look at the high divorce rate in the Western world, they married for love. Well, in theory, the love , the marriages should last longer, but that's not true. The expectation that the marriage put... Individual needs. Expectation puts a lot of pressure on the relationship. That might be why it's difficult to maintain the relationship. Or you would say that maybe it's easier to get divorced in the Western world. It's cheaper. Maybe it's more difficult. My domestic helper told me that in the Philippines, you can never get divorced because of the religion. You can live in separate houses, have different partners, but you are always married. So I don't know what it is. This is a super old study but I love the results. Most people would be like if you married for romantic love, the marriage will last forever because it's your choice. As an individual choice, you love him, he loved you, self love, or mutual love. That's great. But in a study on Indian couples, love actually grew over the year s in the arranged marriages. Whereas for those who married for romantic love, the love actually decreased. So is that really the truth that romantic love leads to better marriages? Is that like the pass for that?
