So we've talked about now power and time, a little bit. We'll come back I'm sure. Information would be the third leg. >> Well the key thing is to see negotiating as a process. It begins before we realize and it's not over when we think it's over, it's like virtually everything is a process like mental illness is a process. When does somebody become mentally ill? We look at a piece of paper, we say well I see he had a doctor certify it at August 16th, so you're telling me August 15th he was fine and suddenly he went bananas? No no. It occurred much earlier. When the disease occurred much earlier. And so that's the way negotiation is. And so if you can get out of the starting blocks earlier, what I call phase number one. See phase two is the interaction. The explicit give and take over proposals where you're sitting down. Sometimes you're sitting across the table from the other guy. By the way, one of my little things that make me slightly crazy is when the other side would be sitting down, and they get to the room first. I would sit next to them, instead of across the room. >> So on their side of the table. >> Like, what the hell? It's like I'm trying to make a move on them. But. >> And why? Just to shake things up? >> Yeah. Just, but this isn't the end of western civilization, that this is like a game. Let's not take this too seriously. We won't remember this in 30 years. So, happiness is not doing what you like. It's liking what you do. And so one of the things that enables you to sit at a negotiating table a long time is if you sort of build in some fun. Don't take it that seriously. I mean very few things are that serious. I mean there are some things of course. But not, you know, financial deals. So, what you want to do is, if the central core of negotiation is what I call bargaining. There's a pre-bargaining period, and that's when you can get information from the other side. You walk around in your organization. People will talk to you. You find out a lot of stuff. You do research. You get on the internet and you find out things. And not only that, it's not only important to get information but you want to give information. Because what you want to do is affect the expectation level of the other side going into the negotiation. In other words, if you're gonna plead poverty, it's much more credible to be pleading poverty before the formal exchange, the bargaining occurs. You sort of let them know and you tell. Someone who won't be at the bargaining table, you say look this is off the record, okay? You see, off the record. And the guy is writing it down. He said, I thought it was off the record. Yeah but I wrote down next to it off the record, you know? The media does that all the time. So he, that guy will tell the negotiator, that will lower his expectation. Remember this is a game. That will lower the expectation level going into negotiation. So, phase one is pre bargaining, phase two is the actual exchange or proposals concluded at the deadline which, in itself, is not really a line. I call it a blob, a dead blob. And then there's phase three afterward, afterward. And now remember this is a process it goes on and on. And most relationships tend to be continuing. There are very few one shot deals and so. You don't really want to victimize people. You don't want to make them look bad. >> On the topic of information, often times you're negotiating in a position where you know a lot less than the other party. >> Yeah. >> So you don't know what other people are earning for a similar job You may have tried. You've done some research. You've done you're best. But in the end, you don't know really how much they're willing to pay you. You don't know what their reserve price is for selling this company. How do you deal with the fact that you're in a weaker information position? >> Oh. What you try to do is get as much information as you can. But as you say, you're limited. What you do is, whatever you're offered, no matter what you're offered you don't take it. You always say well I'll have to check this with my. And you know, my spouse. You're not even married. You say my spouse. [LAUGHS] >> Who I haven't yet met, but when I meet her, I will check it. >> You don't even know anybody of the opposite sex, but you've got a spouse. Check this with my attorney. >> My partner. >> My board of directors, my partner, what have you. See. In other words, you want to limit your capacity and then you want to come back and you want to think about it. And they will take that as, oh, that's not, adequate. They will probably offer more money. But you don't really know what the end is, see. And they can signal you by what the end is. In fact, the way to signal people is you start with an offer and then you make your largest concession first, smaller, smaller, diminishing until the concessions are virtually nothing and so, that signals you're at the end.
