So one of the things that I feel responsible to do is to give you a theory of where character comes from. And I will tell you that, a year ago, I did not have this theory. So the last time that I addressed my wonderful MAPPsters I stood up, and I didn't have this. And this actually took conversations with all of the superstars that I could get to talk to me, in psychology, about where character really comes from. And so I went and I called the hot shots in their respective fields. And I said, “Does someone have this written down?” Could you send me the PDF maybe, or of how this all works together. I don't think anybody has, this is the way I understand after thinking about it and talking about it a lot. And you think you want to consider that character requires wanting to be a certain way. Wanting to be grateful. Wanting to be kind. Wanting to be gritty. But also, enacting that. Now, what do I mean by acquiring both, well if you want to be grateful, but you never say thank you, you never bring in candy, you never write a note, you never appreciate, then to me, that's not genuine gratitude. On the other hand, if the kid is saying thank you, writing their notes, dutifully bringing in the doughnuts because its their Friday to bring in the doughnuts. But they don't feel appreciative in our heart, that's also not what we mean by gratitude. And I think if you look at any character strength you can say, there's gotta be the motivation and also the action. And that include, anytime that the rest of MAPP and also for the rest of your lives, just to put a little weight on it, I think anytime that you can say, I thought there was one thing, but it's really two things. That's progress, like I thought that character was like, but really, it's motivation and actions, it means that you got to a certain level of understanding. And now I'll go one step further, motivation. I think create motivation down even further, I think I can understand motivation. What do we know about motivation as psychologist? Motivation often but not always is determined by what we want and what we believe is possible. So I'm really motivated to say lose five pounds. It depends on how much I really want that. How much does that mean to you? But also, how much do you think it's possible? I, for example, would like to be 5'4", that would be awesome. But, I don't think it's possible. So I don't have a lot of energy in that direction. I don't have a stronghold commitment in that direction. You can paint very hypothetical scenarios, but if you ask yourself about your own motivation and when in your life you've been most committed to your goals. My guess is it was something that really rang true for you but also you felt was within reach, that wasn't like an impossible role. So that's a start because then we can say, where do people's beliefs come from? About what they can do, where do these desires come from. I want to say that motivation can come from a totally different place. And this, I think, is an idea that comes from really a few pioneering thinkers, mostly James March at Stanford, who's about a century old. And he had the observation about 40 years ago. And sometimes, people weigh the costs and the benefits, they think about feasibility. And you're kind of like a little economist, right? I think he said this is how you buy a house, right? You're like gee, I wonder three storeys versus two storeys, look at the interest rate. It's very calculated in a sense. And even if it happens faster than that or below consciousness, there's still this kind of like “Gee, I wonder what how good this would be for me? What would the drawbacks be? All right, what are the odds?” It's like sometimes, and maybe even more often, human beings do something entirely different. And that is, they base their decisions on their identity. So he said, here's the difference. When you're doing the first kind of calculation, you're asking, what are the costs, what are the benefits, what are the odds? When you make a decision based on your identity, you're asking three different questions. “What kind of situation is this?” “Who am I?” “What does someone like me do in a situation like this?” And there's no calculation of the benefits first off that are, I'll give you a specific example from Bob Mankoff, one of the paragons of grit that I've had the pleasure of studying for my book. He is the cartoon editor for The New Yorker. And when I asked him, how is it that he was able to submit yet another cartoon to The New Yorker for publication, when the first 2000 spread over four years were without exception rejected. And when he got no positive feedback about any of them, right. I said to him, like it's kind of, what's the word, irrational? >> [LAUGH] >> And he said you know, the funny thing is when I look back at that decision, it wasn't a calculation. There was like no Excel spreadsheet, right. I just did what someone like me does in a situation like that. So, that's what I mean by identity. It's a complete pattern matching, it's like what should I do? Many of you know what I mean if you're a parent or frankly, if you're a child. When I go to my house, the one I grew up in, I switch into the kid mode, on 16 North Libby Drive and I become a mess and I sit in front of the TV and do nothing. It's just like I'm in this different identity. It's like that's what I do at 16 North Libby Drive. I watch soap operas and eat junk food. Now in my current life there's a moment where I turn the key at about 6:15 and I enter my house. And I'm no longer Angela Duckworth, professor, supposed to be in charge, and I am Angela Duckworth, mom. It's just a script for me, it's like 6:15, boom! And then I play the role of mom. I think when Shakespeare said that, all the world's a stage and each of us as players, this is actually the psychology that Shakespeare was getting at. We know how to play roles, we know what these scripts are and they can be activated. So, when it comes to character, maybe what we need to do is this target in your head, whether it's yourself that you're trying to change or the student in your class, or somebody in a company, or a client that your coaching. You might think, well, how do I change their beliefs about what’s possible. How do I change their desires? Or, you might think, I'm going to go a different route. I'm going to actually go through identity. And have them ask the question. What situation is this? Who am I? What does someone like me do in a situation like this? So that's motivation, right? And that I think is not a complete answer, but it's progress. Because character isn't just character, it's motivation and action, motivation isn't one thing it's at least two things, right? It's calculations but also identity. Now let's turn to action, and the reason why I study this as a separate topic, is that everybody knows what it means to intend to do something and not do it, right? So we now have scientific evidence, confirming what we already knew, which is that most people do not fulfill any of their New Year's resolutions, right. Even a month later, people are not doing what they said they would do, they swore up and down they were going to do on January 1st. So what is this gap between motivation and action? Well I think part of it is that sometimes people don't actually have the skills that they need to enact their dreams, right? And I think that's what I love about positive psychology, right. You're learning scientifically based strategies, hacks, if you will, right, for doing things better. And I think so much of life really is actually a skill. I mean, you could think of skills like riding a bike or learning how to ski or roasting a really nice chicken or these things, you're like, okay. They're obviously skills, you obviously learn them in practice, repetition, feedback, coaching. But I think character, including grit and self control are also to some extent like that. You can learn to practice being grittier or more self-controled. There are strategies that a very experienced mentor can show you that will make it easier and faster. And then, finally, to return to Aristotle. Aristotle said that the apogee of character and virtue is when what you do is not calculated and effortful and here's how I'm going to do it, but actually so part of who you are, it's so habitual That it's automatic, effortless, and immediate. And that actually is what modern psychologists would call, a habit. It actually works on different brain circuitry, habits are those things that we do truly without thinking. And so if I had a student who at first was not sure he wanted to say thank you, but then developed a desire to say thank you. The confidence that he could show gratitude and not be laughed at. And then if that student began to think of himself as , “I’m a grateful person, that's who I am.” And then if that student had skills like, I know I'll write a thank you note after a long possibly torturous lecture course. And I'm going to send it to that professor and I'm going to make them probably cry, in a good way. That's a strategy. I'm going to wake up every day and say, there are three good things in my life. Number one, everybody in my family, right now, is in the house and they're all safe and healthy, alright. Number two, great dinner, right? You know, number three, I'm doing really well in my classes, right. That's a strategy, that's a skill. You can practice that and someone can teach that to you and wow you're better at gratitude. And finally if I have a student who, without even thinking brought in food for other students because they knew there was going to be a class break and they didn't do a calculation, it's just of course, of course. I'm like passing by this awesome place, I'm bringing it in. Of course I'm going to pay for it. It's a habit. Then I would be truly delighted to know that all the aspects of motivation and action that this person had reached what Aristotle had in mind as what's possible for all of us. So that's my overarching framework, the way I'm currently thinking.
