We've talked about optimism a lot and now we're going to play a little game called Spot the Optimism. Here's what I want you to do. I want to really tune your thinking to noticing the very, very specific behaviors that an optimist engages in that leads to greater resilience. So there's a fantastic movie, I'm guessing many of you have seen it, it's Pursuit of Happiness starring Will Smith. It came out in about 2006 and Will Smith plays the character of Chris Gardner. Chris Gardner was homeless and he's really working hard in this movie to get a job at a financial services firm, Dean Witter. And so, in the clip we're going to ask you to watch, I want you to notice all of the behaviors that demonstrate his optimism. Just to give you a little bit of set up, he has finally gotten an interview at Dean Witter and unfortunately, the night before he gets arrested for unpaid parking tickets, and he has to spend the night in jail, and then go straight to the interview. So as you watch this clip, jot down all of the different behaviors you see that demonstrate Chris Gardner's optimism and then we'll talk about it. Payable to City of San Francisco. Does it have to be the full amount? Well, you got to pay a each parking ticket, otherwise, you're staying. This is all I got. We verify 9:30 tomorrow morning. What? Yeah, you got to stay until this thing clears. No. No, I can't spend the night here. I have to pick up my son. We verify it 9:30 tomorrow morning. Sir. I have a job interview at Dean Witter at 10:15 tomorrow morning. I cannot stay. 9:30 tomorrow morning. What am I supposed to do with my son? What am I supposed to do with my son? Is there anyone else who can take care of him? I take care of him. Maybe we can go and have Social Services pick him up. All right, all right. Can I have my phone call please? I'm all good? Excuse me, excuse me. Mr. Gardner. This way. Chris Gardner. Chris Gardner. How are you? Good morning. Chris Gardner. Chris Gardner. Good to see you again. Chris Gardner. Pleasure. I've been sitting out there for the last half hour trying to come up with a story that would explain my being here dressed like this. And I wanted to come up with a story that would demonstrate qualities that I'm sure you all admire here like earnestness or diligence and team play, something, and I couldn't think of anything. So the truth is I was arrested for failure to pay parking tickets. Parking tickets? And I ran all the way here from the Polk station, the police station. What were you doing before you were arrested? I was painting my apartment. Is it dry now? I hope so. ay says you're pretty determined. He's been waiting outside the front of the building with some 40-pound gizmo for over a month. He said you're smart. I like to think so. And you want to learn this business. Yes, sir. I want to learn this business. Have you already started learning on your own? Absolutely. Jay. Yes, sir? How many times have you seen Chris? I don't know. One too many, apparently. Was he ever dressed like this? No, no. Jacket and tie. First in your class in school? High school? Yes, sir. How many in the class? 12. It was a small town. I'll say. But I was also first in my radar class in the Navy and that was a class of 20. Can I say something? I'm the type of person if you ask me a question and I don't know the answer, I'm going to tell you that I don't know. But I bet you what, I know how to find the answer and I will find the answer. Is that fair enough? Chris, what would you say if a guy walked in for an interview without a shirt on and I hired him? What would you say? He must've had on some really nice pants. Okay. I don't know how many you found. I think every time I watch that video I see more. There are some obvious ones that I'm guessing you notice, like the fact that he even went to the city interview after spending the night in jail. That's obviously the behavior of an optimist. But there are more subtle ones as well. So, one of my favorite scenes or moments in, is did you notice when he was in the elevator and he was tucking in his shirt and trying to zip up his jacket? To me, that demonstrated optimism. He couldn't control what he was wearing, right? He didn't have time to go home and change and put on a business suit. But he could control that even though he was in that paint-stained T-shirt, that he was going to look as good as he possibly could in that paint-stained T-shirt. So, that's a behavior of an optimist. Also, we talked about how optimists seek out information, right? An optimist is somebody who's looking for information so they could use that information to their advantage, from a resilience perspective, to help them cope with the situation. So, did you notice when he started walking through that main room, and there was all that noise and stuff going on, on his way toward the conference room, that his head, as they would say in the military, was on a swivel, right? He was looking around that room and you could get the sense that he was scanning that environment for every bit of information that he could find. And that to me is the behavior of an optimist. So, as we continue to go through this move together, I want to challenge you to spot optimism. When you see an optimistic behavior in yourself, name it for yourself. That's going to build your awareness. When you see an optimistic behavior in your child, call him or her out on it. Point out that behavior so that your child knows that that behavior is one that's going to serve him or her in resilience. Many of you are employers, right? So, when you see optimism in people that work for you, when you see behaviors of optimism, don't let them go unnoticed. Praise those behaviors because by praising those behaviors, you're going to get more of those behaviors out of people and you're going to get happier, healthier, more productive of colleagues. So, spot the optimism. All right, so now what I would love for you to do is to put optimism into practice in a situation that matters to you. So, what I'd like you to do is to identify a current situation, something that you're struggling with, you're frustrated with, or maybe it's that you and your significant other or you and your child have been fighting a lot lately. Or maybe it's that you're on the job market and you have received a lot of no's and you're starting to feel really frustrated and worn down by that. So, I want you start off by identifying a situation that's hard for you and now, you're going to apply the skill of optimism. I want you to take some time and to list out all of the aspects of that situation that you can control. Now, think of control broadly. Sometimes we can full-on control something but we can leverage it. We can influence it. There's a little wiggle room there that you can effect change. So, I want you to challenge yourself not just to identify the first thing that occurs to you that you can control, but push yourself. Are there other aspects of this situation that you can control or influence or leverage? So, you're going to come up with, I hope, a long list, two, three, four, five, depending on the situation, things that you can control. That's what an optimist does. Focuses on what he or she can control. But an optimist also identifies and lets go of the things that he or she can't control. So, I want you to do that as well. Maybe there's aspects of that situation. Your fight with your your significant other, or your kids, or not getting a job currently that you have to just accept. And so, I want you to list those out as well. What are all the aspects of this situation that you just need to accept and by putting those two lists together, what you can control, influence, leverage what you have to accept. Now you can start to make some decisions about how to use your energy and resources. You're maybe going to be less likely to lament and ruminate on the things you can't do anything about, because right there in front of you have this long list of things that you can influence or change. So you're going to make those two lists: control, except. And then the last step of an optimist is purposeful action, right? An optimist doesn't just identify the problem. An optimist puts solutions into place. So, once you've identified what you can control versus what you need to accept, I want you to challenge yourself to come up with some actions that you can take to affect the variables that you just identified that you can control. So, what will you start to do differently? What are you going to tweak in the way you're handling the situation so that you're bringing about a more positive outcome?
