[MUSIC] I want to talk a little bit about dealing with conflict. We've really set the stage for us to have a lot of information to use when we come to the table for conflict resolution, and actually taking the appropriate steps to deal and manage the conflict that we have in front of us. But there are a couple of things we haven't addressed that I really want to bring home again, and one of them is to remain calm. A conflict situation can cause some anxiety and some adrenaline to start pumping in your system. And for some people it's harder than others to remain calm in that situation. And sometimes, you might see that it fuels. So you might be in a situation where one individual is talking aggressively, and then the other person will talk over them because they want to be aggressive. And then the other person will take the other position to talk more aggressively. And the reality is that that game will just continue. Someone has to take the position of remaining calm in the situation. Someone has to take the position of being responsible in the dialogue that's taking place. So when you're dealing with conflict, be the responsible party and remain calm in the situation. Don't remain inactive, it's two different things. You are an active participant, you're just not escalating your tone. So, just make sure that in choosing that role, you understand that's the strategic position to be in, in order to deal with a conflict effectively. Another thing, is to listen to understand. So, your position to deal with conflict is to first hear the individual's perspective, not to state your perspective. Again, it's a very strategic position to take, but it's the one that will lead you to the right level of dealing with a conflict that's at play. So when you're talking about remaining calm, And when you're talking about listening to understand, they both really work hand in hand. Because your calmness will bring down and de-escalate the situation. And your listening skills will allow the individual to feel comfortable, and not defensive during the dialogue. Very key roles to play when you're dealing with conflict. The next one is focused on the positive. And basically, in all situations, you can find a parallel line that both of you have in common. And that's really the positive situation or positive point to be at. The other thing that's very positive, is where you're trying to go. So if you're trying to plan a trip, the positive is the destination. If you're trying to get resolution on a project, the positive is the closure or the end of the project. So when you're thinking about it and dealing with conflict, just keep that in mind. Because both of you that are having the conflict, whether it's individual or team based, you both have the same destination, or you both have the same goal in mind. And so, that positive sense will help you get closure. The other thing is, is not to allow emotion to get involved in it and deal with the facts. Also, deal with the goal, which is a little bit about what we talked about earlier, about what is the objective, where do we want to go to? So dealing with the facts, the underlining steps that need to take place to get to the goal, and staying focused, will help you remain in a non-conflict situation. To help you diffuse any conflict that's currently at plays. So, staying and keeping that motivation for your listening to understand, open lines of communication, sticking to the facts, keeping your sights clear on the goal and the positive aspects, will help you deal with conflict. The other thing, and the last two things, that are most important, is How can I say this? Looking for the window of opportunity to address the moment to discuss the conflict that's at hand. Getting your questions answered is very important, and that leads you back to the communication that we talked about earlier. In dealing with conflict, open lines of communication must take place. So while you are listening, make sure that any questions that you have are getting addressed as well. So if an individual is having a conversation with you, and they're providing, you're being open, and you're listening. And they're providing you information, make sure that the information that they provide you, if you have any questions, you address them at that moment in time, while you're remaining calm. Any time that you're teeing up a conflict conversation, when you're trying to deal with conflict, choose your moment wisely. Don't address the individual when they're not prepared. Don't ask them to talk with you when you're ready, but you haven't given them the opportunity to be comfortable with the dialogue as well. Always schedule the meeting, always let them know what's going on. And most of all, wait for a moment where they may even invite you to have the conversation. Because that's really at the peak point of dealing with conflict at its very effective level. [SOUND]
